My Gift To You
A Guide to Chastity Before Marriage
This program has been designed to assist parents and their children to promote chastity. The concept originated from Rev. Richard Durfield's book "Raising Them Chaste" along with the "True Love Waits" campaign of the Baptist Church several years ago.
Our program incorporates both of these ideas; however it doesn't end there. We believe that purity in the marriage covenant is of equal or greater importance, therefore we have a chastity covenant on one side and a marriage covenant on the reverse side. This program is the most complete and it works.
HOW IT WORKS
When parents decide that chastity needs to be discussed with their child (usually at the ages of 11 to 16, depending on the maturity of the child and the conditions surrounding them) a special night is set aside with moms talking with daughters and dads talking to sons. In some cases both parents may be present as long as the child is not inhibited in any way from speaking openly about this delicate matter. Remember that the important issue here is to convey the message of chastity. Don't be offended if your child feels uncomfortable with both parents present. This is very normal in young people when dealing with potentially embarrassing issues. A reservation should be made at a fine restaurant so that no delays will disturb your important date. In this quiet relaxed atmosphere, during or after the meal begin discussing the issue of chastity. Be prepared and open to any questions that your child may have. You may be surprised, but remember that's why you're there.
After all of your child's questions have been fully answered, suggest that your child prays a prayer vowing to be chaste until marriage, with you as a witness before God. This is where a "My Gift to You" covenant and jewelry comes in. Present the covenant to the child, reading the front and backside. Have them sign and date the purity side only, keeping the marriage side available for their wedding night. Next, present the ring or pendant to be worn daily as a seal of this covenant made between your child and God. As a ring is an unbroken circle, so shall this promise remain unbroken. Let these two witnesses be a constant reminder of their promise and of God's promise to be with them in times of testing.
Many have been in a compromising position as they get older and having forgotten the pledge made, yet after seeing their ring they remember their covenant and stopped before they have sinned; sparing themselves from much heartache and difficulties.
It is our recommendation that annually you have a review with your child to discuss any new questions that may arise regarding chastity. As time goes on this will become a welcomed event and will allow you as their parent to know what is going on in their personal life as they grow older without them feeling that you are treading on them. We also have an arrangement with our children that for every year they keep this covenant we will add a gemstone to their ring. That is a small price to pay for requesting our children to do such a difficult task.
ABOUT THE JEWELRY
The jewelry should be so special and important to your child that they'll want to talk about its meaning. It's so beautiful that it promotes admiration and curiosity among their relatives and friends. After all we want to start a new youth movement we call: Guard your heart -- with a ring -- and a prayer
WHEN WEDDING BELLS RING
When the day arrives that your child has found the helpmate that God has set apart for them and they marry, they will present the ring or pendant to their spouse as a gift, explaining that this represents them and their commitment to this marriage. At this time the reverse side of the covenant that has been hanging in their room for years is read, signed and dated by the newlyweds. This becomes a pledge of their faithfulness and their intention to let Christ be the head of their marriage. This single framed and displayed gift can become a lifetime daily reminder of God's interest in the way we live our lives in front of a hurting and watching world. The spouse may now wish to wear the ring or pendant until the time comes for a "My Gift to You" talk with their firstborn. A tradition that should continue until Christ comes again...
MY GIFT TO YOU
This is my gift to you parents everywhere, one more weapon in the arsenal that God has given us to fight for the hearts and minds of our children. We know of no other battle that is more important.
A FINAL PRAYER
Our prayer for you is that the Lord Jesus Christ will guide you and direct you in this special time you have with your child. Be sensitive to the Lord's leading and lean on Him for all you will say and do. Remember what He says in His Word that in your time of need, open your mouth wide and He will fill it.
Thank you for your interest in "My Gift to You", and most importantly in your child. We trust that this will be just one more step in your loving relationship. May God's richest Blessings always be yours.
Michael S. George, President